Transforming Your Relationship with Money from Fear to Freedom

We often think of money in practical terms: bills, savings, budgets, credit scores. But the truth is, your relationship with money is one of the most emotionally intimate relationships you'll ever have. It’s laced with history, memory, shame, survival, and self-worth.

Inspired by a recent episode of Jillian on Love with Lewis Howes, we’re diving deep into the emotional undercurrent of our financial behaviors, and how to start healing the scarcity mindset that silently rules so many of our decisions.

The Scarcity Mindset: What It Really Says About You

A scarcity mindset isn't just about not having enough—it’s about believing you’ll never have enough, no matter what you do. It’s that low, familiar hum of anxiety when you check your bank account. It’s the guilt that bubbles up after spending money on yourself. It’s the subconscious story that says, “I’m not safe,” or worse, “I’m not worthy.”

According to Lewis Howes, author of Make Money Easy, most of our financial habits are reflections of our emotional wounds—not just math problems to be solved.

So ask yourself:

• Do I constantly feel guilty about spending money?
• Do I avoid looking at my bank account?
• Do I tie my self-worth to how much I earn?
• Do I feel uncomfortable receiving money, help, or abundance?

These are emotional patterns—not just financial ones.

Money Mirrors Your Sense of Safety and Worth

Lewis shares a powerful truth in the podcast: “When you heal your nervous system, you heal your relationship with money.” That’s because your money behaviors are directly tied to your nervous system’s sense of safety.

If your body doesn't feel safe, you won’t feel safe with money—no matter how much you have. You’ll hoard it, fear losing it, or sabotage the flow of it.

This is why healing scarcity isn’t about hustling harder. It’s about healing the part of you that believes you’re not worthy of ease, support, or stability.

How to Heal Your Scarcity Mindset and Rewrite Your Money Story

1. See Money as a Relationship, Not a Resource

Your money habits mirror your emotional patterns.
Do you ghost your money (avoid looking at it)?
Do you try to control it tightly out of fear?
Do you overgive and underreceive?

Start treating money like a person you’re in relationship with.
Ask: What kind of relationship am I building with money right now?
Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who ignores you, fears you, or constantly judges you? Probably not.

Instead:
💌 Check in with your money weekly.
💬 Speak about it with kindness.
🌿 Forgive yourself for past decisions.

2. Identify the Origin of Your Money Beliefs

Jillian and Lewis both emphasize the importance of inner child work. Many of us inherited money stories in childhood:

• “We can’t afford that.”
• “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
• “Rich people are greedy.”
• “You have to work hard to deserve anything.”

These phrases aren’t just harmless sayings—they become subconscious programming. To heal, you must trace the roots of these beliefs and decide if they’re still true for you today.

Journal Prompt:
What did I learn about money growing up?
Whose beliefs am I still carrying?
What do I want my new belief to be?

3. Expand Your Capacity to Receive

So many of us know how to give, but we’re deeply uncomfortable receiving—money, love, support, praise.
But abundance isn’t just about earning more. It’s about allowing more in.

💡 Start small:

• Say “thank you” instead of deflecting compliments.
• Receive help without guilt.
• Practice gratitude when money comes in, no matter how small.

The more your body learns that receiving is safe, the more naturally abundance will flow.

4. Make Money Easy by Making It Emotional

Lewis Howes’s book isn’t just about financial literacy—it’s about emotional literacy. When we make money purely transactional, we ignore its impact on our identity, relationships, and inner peace.

Try this reframing:
Instead of asking, “How do I make more money?” ask,

• “How can I feel more emotionally safe with money?”
• “How can I build trust with myself?”
• “How can I show up for money the way I want it to show up for me?”

You Are Worthy of Financial Peace

You don’t have to hustle your way out of scarcity—you can heal your way into abundance. That starts with noticing your emotional patterns, holding them with compassion, and creating new beliefs that support the life you actually want.

Your relationship with money can become one of trust, ease, and generosity—to yourself and others.

Because when you heal your money wounds, you don’t just become wealthier…
You become freer.